Being in love; a blessing and a curse. Something that can be so beautiful, but only with the right person.
Recently, I fell in love with this guy. He was smart, handsome, and just amazing to me. But if there was only one thing that I learned from the relationship, it was you can not love someone, if you do not love yourself. You can not be in a relationship and feel like you are compromising how you believe a man should treat you.
Yes, I did love this boy, but throughout the relationship it felt like I loved him more than I loved myself. I would make sure he was good before I even checked on myself. I would always end up having to do something for him, which I am not complaining about being a girlfriend, but there were literally times where I would do something and I knew if the roles were switched, the results wouldn’t be the same. When things would go bad, I would constantly blame myself and most of the time it would be over something about how I felt like I did not mean anything to him.
My mom would constantly tell me “Honey, I can tell something is wrong with you. You are gaining weight, and you are letting yourself go.” Of course with me not trying to destroy my pride, I would get mad and tell her she wrong and I just love food. Which is halfway true, but I was going through something. I was upset because this great guy that I fell in love with could not or just did not want to love me the way I needed to be loved but I could not let him go. I did not even notice how much I let myself go until I looked at old photos of me from two years ago.
I would tell myself, “Well if I just show him how much I love him, he would learn to love me the way I need it.” But it never happened because, again, I would find myself compromising my beliefs.
Ladies; gentleman; we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone. We have to be satisfied when we look in the mirror or at least have a plan on how to get there. You need to make sure you look presentable everyday whether you are planning on leaving the house or not. We have to understand what we want within our significant other and the only way to do that is if when know and love ourselves. If they are not willing to give you want you want and need, let them go so someone else can. People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you love yourself, you will learn what you want and will not settle for anything else.
Yes, the person who you thought was the one might actually love you, but until you find love within yourself, “what does love got to do with it?”